{"id":44320,"date":"2020-03-13T12:23:54","date_gmt":"2020-03-13T16:23:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/?p=44320"},"modified":"2026-05-12T09:48:01","modified_gmt":"2026-05-12T13:48:01","slug":"turning-feedback-into-a-dialogue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/2020\/03\/13\/turning-feedback-into-a-dialogue\/","title":{"rendered":"Turning Feedback into a Dialogue"},"content":{"rendered":"<?xml encoding=\"utf-8\" ?><p><em>By Cara Parker, Leadership Development Consultant and Owner of C Parker Consulting<\/em><\/p><p>Most of us dread the question, &ldquo;May I give you some feedback?&rdquo;&nbsp; Often, in the workplace, this inquiry is followed by some vague discussion that leaves both parties (the giver and receiver) leaving the conversation singing off different sheets of music.&nbsp; The giver has a feeling of, &ldquo;I set him\/her straight&rdquo; and the receiver often feels confused or irritated.&nbsp; There is a better way to manage this dichotomy.<!--more--><\/p><p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"longdesc-return-44321\" class=\"alignleft  wp-image-44321\" src=\"https:\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/21\/2020\/03\/feedback-april.jpg\" alt=\"the word 'feedback' with conversation bubbles above it\" width=\"260\" height=\"173\" longdesc=\"https:\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw?longdesc=44321&amp;referrer=44320\" srcset=\"\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/21\/2020\/03\/feedback-april.jpg 640w, \/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/21\/2020\/03\/feedback-april-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 260px) 100vw, 260px\">Let&rsquo;s start with some semantics unfortunately rooted in polarization:<\/p><ul>\n<li>There are 2 parties: the giver and receiver<\/li>\n<li>There are 2 goals: reinforce or change behavior<\/li>\n<li>There are 2 types of feedback: confirmatory or constructive<\/li>\n<\/ul><p>Wouldn&rsquo;t it be great if we could finesse the process so it&rsquo;s not so polarized &ndash; where both parties have a connected dialogue an both leave feeling valued, appreciated, and wanting to do better?<\/p><p><u>Let&rsquo;s get practical on constructive feedback:<\/u>&nbsp; The beauty of dialogue is that it is ongoing &ndash; it implies there is a relationship in place. Relationships form the foundation for all interactions.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; When you are the giver, be succinct.&nbsp; Keep your language clear and concise based on observed behaviors &ndash; that YOU have observed first hand. Assume positive intent and describe the preferred behavior.&nbsp; Avoid giving too many suggestions at one time. Here&rsquo;s the dialogue part:&nbsp; Ask for their input and observations.&nbsp; They don&rsquo;t have to agree.&nbsp;&nbsp; Invite a conversation.<\/p><p>When you are the receiver of constructive feedback, listen and don&rsquo;t interrupt.&nbsp; If you are not clear, ask for clarity. Acknowledge the feedback and keep your emotions in check and don&rsquo;t get defensive.&nbsp; Afterwards, spend some time in reflection by asking yourself a few questions: Was the feedback valid? What was the context in which the behavior was observed? What changes do I need to take?&nbsp; What follow up is needed?<\/p><p><u>Let&rsquo;s get practical on confirmatory feedback:<\/u>&nbsp; When you are giving positive feedback, be specific and sincere.&nbsp; Provide the context and the impact of the behavior. Cite the person&rsquo;s strengths and praise their effort. Don&rsquo;t be stingy when handing out positive input. When you are receiving good feedback, thank the deliverer.&nbsp; Own the compliments and express appreciation they were shared.&nbsp; As with constructive, spend some time in reflection.&nbsp; Ask yourself: why was this behavior perceived as helpful? What skills do I possess that led to this desired outcome?&nbsp; How can I strengthen those skills?<\/p><p>In all these dichotomies, the common thread is dialogue.&nbsp; Whether you are a giver or receiver, be sure to host and encourage the dialogue.&nbsp; This approach helps build the conversation and strengths the relationship.&nbsp; Try it out!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Cara Parker, Leadership Development Consultant and Owner of C Parker ConsultingMost of us dread the question, &ldquo;May I give you some feedback?&rdquo;&nbsp; Often, in the workplace, this inquiry is followed by some vague discussion that leaves both parties (the giver and receiver) leaving the conversation singing off different sheets of music.&nbsp; The giver has [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":92,"featured_media":44321,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"umw_cb_additional_links":[[]],"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_advisory_expires_time":"","_advisory_meta_include":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-44320","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-blog","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.3 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - 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