{"id":44320,"date":"2020-03-13T12:23:54","date_gmt":"2020-03-13T16:23:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/?p=44320"},"modified":"2020-03-13T12:29:28","modified_gmt":"2020-03-13T16:29:28","slug":"turning-feedback-into-a-dialogue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/2020\/03\/13\/turning-feedback-into-a-dialogue\/","title":{"rendered":"Turning Feedback into a Dialogue"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>By Cara Parker, Leadership Development Consultant and Owner of C Parker Consulting<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Most of us dread the question, \u201cMay I give you some feedback?\u201d\u00a0 Often, in the workplace, this inquiry is followed by some vague discussion that leaves both parties (the giver and receiver) leaving the conversation singing off different sheets of music.\u00a0 The giver has a feeling of, \u201cI set him\/her straight\u201d and the receiver often feels confused or irritated.\u00a0 There is a better way to manage this dichotomy.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"longdesc-return-44321\" class=\"alignleft  wp-image-44321\" src=\"https:\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/21\/2020\/03\/feedback-april.jpg\" alt=\"the word 'feedback' with conversation bubbles above it\" width=\"260\" height=\"173\" longdesc=\"https:\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw?longdesc=44321&amp;referrer=44320\" srcset=\"\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/21\/2020\/03\/feedback-april.jpg 640w, \/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/21\/2020\/03\/feedback-april-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 260px) 100vw, 260px\" \/>Let\u2019s start with some semantics unfortunately rooted in polarization:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>There are 2 parties: the giver and receiver<\/li>\n<li>There are 2 goals: reinforce or change behavior<\/li>\n<li>There are 2 types of feedback: confirmatory or constructive<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Wouldn\u2019t it be great if we could finesse the process so it\u2019s not so polarized \u2013 where both parties have a connected dialogue an both leave feeling valued, appreciated, and wanting to do better?<\/p>\n<p><u>Let\u2019s get practical on constructive feedback:<\/u>\u00a0 The beauty of dialogue is that it is ongoing \u2013 it implies there is a relationship in place. Relationships form the foundation for all interactions.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 When you are the giver, be succinct.\u00a0 Keep your language clear and concise based on observed behaviors \u2013 that YOU have observed first hand. Assume positive intent and describe the preferred behavior.\u00a0 Avoid giving too many suggestions at one time. Here\u2019s the dialogue part:\u00a0 Ask for their input and observations.\u00a0 They don\u2019t have to agree.\u00a0\u00a0 Invite a conversation.<\/p>\n<p>When you are the receiver of constructive feedback, listen and don\u2019t interrupt.\u00a0 If you are not clear, ask for clarity. Acknowledge the feedback and keep your emotions in check and don\u2019t get defensive.\u00a0 Afterwards, spend some time in reflection by asking yourself a few questions: Was the feedback valid? What was the context in which the behavior was observed? What changes do I need to take?\u00a0 What follow up is needed?<\/p>\n<p><u>Let\u2019s get practical on confirmatory feedback:<\/u>\u00a0 When you are giving positive feedback, be specific and sincere.\u00a0 Provide the context and the impact of the behavior. Cite the person\u2019s strengths and praise their effort. Don\u2019t be stingy when handing out positive input. When you are receiving good feedback, thank the deliverer.\u00a0 Own the compliments and express appreciation they were shared.\u00a0 As with constructive, spend some time in reflection.\u00a0 Ask yourself: why was this behavior perceived as helpful? What skills do I possess that led to this desired outcome?\u00a0 How can I strengthen those skills?<\/p>\n<p>In all these dichotomies, the common thread is dialogue.\u00a0 Whether you are a giver or receiver, be sure to host and encourage the dialogue.\u00a0 This approach helps build the conversation and strengths the relationship.\u00a0 Try it out!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Cara Parker, Leadership Development Consultant and Owner of C Parker Consulting Most of us dread the question, \u201cMay I give you some feedback?\u201d\u00a0 Often, in the workplace, this inquiry is followed by some vague discussion that leaves both parties (the giver and receiver) leaving the conversation singing off different sheets of music.\u00a0 The giver [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":92,"featured_media":44321,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"umw_cb_additional_links":[[]],"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_advisory_expires_time":"","_advisory_meta_include":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-44320","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-blog","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.9 (Yoast SEO v26.9) - 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