{"id":44430,"date":"2021-02-01T14:59:36","date_gmt":"2021-02-01T19:59:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/?p=44430"},"modified":"2021-01-07T15:04:34","modified_gmt":"2021-01-07T20:04:34","slug":"messages-matter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/2021\/02\/01\/messages-matter\/","title":{"rendered":"Messages Matter"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Lynne Richardson, Dean, UMW College of Business<\/em><\/p>\n

We all know people who seem to have been born confident. They exude it from every pore! Others, however, don\u2019t feel like they are worthy and pay attention to what others think to define their value.\"person<\/p>\n

Years ago I had a female student, let\u2019s call her Matilda, sit in my office and tell me her father sent her to college to find a husband because \u201cshe wasn\u2019t as smart as her brother.\u201d He was worried that she wouldn\u2019t be able to support herself, so was willing to invest in a college education to ensure she found a man to take care of her! Matilda had been in two of my classes at this point, so I knew her pretty well. I said, \u201cWhat do you have, about a 3.5 GPA?\u201d Turns out it was a bit higher. Matilda was a beautiful woman and her father, I\u2019m sure out of love (at least, that\u2019s the way I\u2019ve had to reconcile this), put her down every time he told her she was pretty, but not as smart as the genius brother. I told her that she needed to quit hearing that message from dear old dad as she was smart and talented. She would be able to get a job and not have to rely on a husband to support her. If she wanted to marry, that was fine, but that she could stand on her own two feet.<\/p>\n

So many times, in our personal lives and in interactions with workplace colleagues, we say and do things that signal to others that they don\u2019t belong or are not \u2018enough.\u2019 As parents, we mean well when we counsel the son who is not a good speller that he really shouldn\u2019t register for the Spelling Bee. Or we tell our not-very-athletic daughter that she wouldn\u2019t make a softball team, so she should not try out. We tell our partners, in order to protect them from hurt, not to apply for a new job because they don\u2019t have the credentials or background the organization is looking for. In the workplace, we signal to coworkers they aren\u2019t as prepared, experienced, or whatever when different tasks must be done. \u201cLet Marie do it\u2026 she\u2019s had more experience than you.\u201d<\/p>\n

I was blessed to have parents who told me I could do and be anything I wanted. And I believed them!<\/p>\n

As a parent, I have tried to never hold my children back from trying something new, even when I knew the outcome wouldn\u2019t be pretty. At age six, our son wanted to take diving lessons with a friend. I swallowed my negativity and signed him up. It was, to say the least, not his thing and remains one of the hardest things I have ever had to watch anyone experience. It was painful for both of us. But he wanted to try, so I supported him.<\/p>\n

In the workplace, I tend to hear \u201cI can\u2019t\u201d from people when they are asked to get out of their comfort zones. Henry Ford famously said, \u201cWhether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.\u201d At times folks I have worked have felt like I have bulldozed them into trying something they didn\u2019t believe they could do. While it hasn\u2019t always worked out well, what I don\u2019t want them to do is box themselves in. On the other hand, sometimes colleagues have been shocked that I thought they could do something (and been proven correct!) that they were sure they could not.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve all heard that when we have big dreams, we shouldn\u2019t tell the naysayers in our life who, while meaning well, will tell us all the reasons we cannot achieve our dreams. I agree with this.<\/p>\n

So think about how your messages impact others, whether it\u2019s a family member, work colleague, or friend. Encouraging words are important for each of us to hear!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Lynne Richardson, Dean, UMW College of Business We all know people who seem to have been born confident. They exude it from every pore! Others, however, don\u2019t feel like they are worthy and pay attention to what others think to define their value.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":92,"featured_media":44431,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"umw_cb_additional_links":[[]],"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"sidebar-content","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_advisory_expires_time":"","_advisory_meta_include":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-44430","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-blog","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nMessages Matter - Leadership Colloquium at UMW<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/2021\/02\/01\/messages-matter\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Messages Matter\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By Lynne Richardson, Dean, UMW College of Business We all know people who seem to have been born confident. 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