{"id":44748,"date":"2023-05-02T08:25:31","date_gmt":"2023-05-02T12:25:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/?p=44748"},"modified":"2026-05-12T09:47:40","modified_gmt":"2026-05-12T13:47:40","slug":"fuel-or-fire","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/2023\/05\/02\/fuel-or-fire\/","title":{"rendered":"Fuel or Fire"},"content":{"rendered":"<?xml encoding=\"utf-8\" ?><p><em>By Devin Fedor, Head of Organizational Design and Effectiveness at Great Minds&nbsp;<\/em><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Feedback is always a hot topic.&nbsp; How do I get more?&nbsp; What do I do with it?&nbsp; What if I disagree or don&rsquo;t like what I hear?&nbsp; We are wired to want feedback, yet both the acts of giving and receiving feedback can be a stressful and potentially threatening experience.&nbsp; Despite the discomfort, feedback is critical for ongoing growth and development.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\"> <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"longdesc-return-44749\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-44749\" src=\"https:\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/21\/2023\/05\/feedback-1024x683.png\" alt=\"The word feedback\" width=\"215\" height=\"143\" longdesc=\"https:\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw?longdesc=44749&amp;referrer=44748\" srcset=\"\/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/21\/2023\/05\/feedback-1024x683.png 1024w, \/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/21\/2023\/05\/feedback-300x200.png 300w, \/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/21\/2023\/05\/feedback-768x512.png 768w, \/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/21\/2023\/05\/feedback-1536x1024.png 1536w, \/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/21\/2023\/05\/feedback-680x453.png 680w, \/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/21\/2023\/05\/feedback-1140x760.png 1140w, \/\/www.umw.edu\/lcpw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/21\/2023\/05\/feedback.png 1920w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 215px) 100vw, 215px\"><\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">When faced with feedback, you have a choice to make.&nbsp; Do you use it as fuel to light you up or fire to burn you down?&nbsp; If you are striving to use feedback as fuel, it can be helpful to first turn down the threat level by simply asking for it.&nbsp; According to research from the NeuroLeadership Institute, asking for feedback broadly, explicitly, and often promotes a growth mindset and can produce feedback that is less biased.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">&nbsp;<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Here are some tips to get better at asking for feedback.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><p><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Be proactive<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">.&#8239; Getting unsolicited feedback can be a stressful experience.&#8239; By proactively asking for feedback from a variety of people, you are better able to take control of the timing, the topic, and your response.&nbsp;<\/span><span data-ccp-props='{\"134233117\":false,\"134233118\":false,\"335559738\":0,\"335559739\":0}'>&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"&#61623;\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"4\" data-list-defn-props='{\"335552541\":1,\"335559684\":-2,\"335559685\":720,\"335559991\":360,\"469769226\":\"Symbol\",\"469769242\":[8226],\"469777803\":\"left\",\"469777804\":\"&#61623;\",\"469777815\":\"hybridMultilevel\"}' data-aria-posinset=\"2\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Be timely<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">.&#8239;As you are wrapping up a project, activity, or completing a new task, reach out to your colleagues and connections to see what insights or advice they can provide. Plan requests for feedback on a regular basis, such as once a month or quarter.<\/span><span data-ccp-props='{\"134233117\":false,\"134233118\":false,\"335559738\":0,\"335559739\":0}'>&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"&#61623;\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"4\" data-list-defn-props='{\"335552541\":1,\"335559684\":-2,\"335559685\":720,\"335559991\":360,\"469769226\":\"Symbol\",\"469769242\":[8226],\"469777803\":\"left\",\"469777804\":\"&#61623;\",\"469777815\":\"hybridMultilevel\"}' data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Be specific<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">.&#8239; Let the person know exactly why and on what you are asking for feedback. Share that they will be doing you a favor by being candid and providing you with actionable suggestions for improvement.&#8239;&#8239;<\/span><span data-ccp-props='{\"134233117\":false,\"134233118\":false,\"335559738\":0,\"335559739\":0}'>&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"&#61623;\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"4\" data-list-defn-props='{\"335552541\":1,\"335559684\":-2,\"335559685\":720,\"335559991\":360,\"469769226\":\"Symbol\",\"469769242\":[8226],\"469777803\":\"left\",\"469777804\":\"&#61623;\",\"469777815\":\"hybridMultilevel\"}' data-aria-posinset=\"4\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Be responsive<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">.&#8239; Take the feedback seriously and use it to build on your strengths and improve your areas of opportunity.&#8239; Discuss the feedback with a trusted friend or colleague and engage their support in your development.&#8239;&#8239;<\/span><span data-ccp-props='{\"134233117\":false,\"134233118\":false,\"335559738\":0,\"335559739\":0}'>&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"&#61623;\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"4\" data-list-defn-props='{\"335552541\":1,\"335559684\":-2,\"335559685\":720,\"335559991\":360,\"469769226\":\"Symbol\",\"469769242\":[8226],\"469777803\":\"left\",\"469777804\":\"&#61623;\",\"469777815\":\"hybridMultilevel\"}' data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Be gracious<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">.&#8239; Listen without judgment. Thank the person for their feedback and let them know how you will act on it. Offer to return the&#8239;favor when you can.&#8239;&#8239;&#8203;<\/span><span data-ccp-props='{\"134233117\":false,\"134233118\":false,\"335559738\":0,\"335559739\":0}'>&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">&nbsp;<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">There will still be times when you receive unsolicited feedback, and you can use several of these tips in those situations as well.&nbsp; When thinking about receiving feedback, the following quote from Anais Nin always comes to mind:<\/span><span data-ccp-props='{\"134233117\":false,\"134233118\":false,\"335559738\":0,\"335559739\":0}'>&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><p><span data-ccp-props='{\"134233117\":false,\"134233118\":false,\"335559738\":0,\"335559739\":0}'>&nbsp;<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">&ldquo;We don&rsquo;t see things as they are, we see things as we are.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/span><span data-ccp-props='{\"134233117\":false,\"134233118\":false,\"335559738\":0,\"335559739\":0}'>&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><p><span data-ccp-props='{\"134233117\":false,\"134233118\":false,\"335559738\":0,\"335559739\":0}'>&nbsp;<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">We are experts on our own reactions and experiences of others &ndash; not on their skills, abilities, or intents.&nbsp; Next time you are faced with receiving feedback, ask yourself &ldquo;What is the most generous explanation for their comments?&rdquo;.&nbsp; Most likely, it is that they want to help you grow and improve.&nbsp;&nbsp; Let their feedback light you up.<\/span><span data-ccp-props='{\"134233117\":false,\"134233118\":false,\"335559738\":0,\"335559739\":0}'>&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Devin Fedor, Head of Organizational Design and Effectiveness at Great Minds&nbsp;Feedback is always a hot topic.&nbsp; How do I get more?&nbsp; What do I do with it?&nbsp; What if I disagree or don&rsquo;t like what I hear?&nbsp; We are wired to want feedback, yet both the acts of giving and receiving feedback can be [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":92,"featured_media":44749,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"umw_cb_additional_links":[[]],"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_advisory_expires_time":"","_advisory_meta_include":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[2,1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-44748","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-blog","8":"category-uncategorized","9":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.3 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - 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