This summer, we asked the followers of the UMW Parents & Families Facebook page to share their best advice for new college parents. They responded with some great words of wisdom. We’ve compiled a few of their pieces of advice below, but you can read all of the comments on the original post.
Steve Smith’s Advice:
- Don’t let them come home for at least six weeks if they are living on campus, even if they live close enough to do so. This will force them to make new friends (and not count on old high school friends so much), will allow them to ‘experience’ college, and will teach them how to start working things out on their own.
- This generation has grown up on texting and social media and don’t seem to understand that Professors and coaches and administrators don’t always work that way – they have to get comfortable interacting in-person and asking questions. NEVER assume you have the answer to your question because of how you interpret something; if they aren’t 100% sure then ASK the question.
- Parents (and I had a HARD time doing this), let them fly, let them “adult,” let them learn. I know most of you are paying for college, but it’s their time to grow and learn…you don’t need to edit papers, give them directions, have conversations for them, or hold their hands. They’re going to surprise you with how well they can adapt.
- Don’t get upset if they aren’t calling you every day. They are trying to figure out their new life; sometimes that means less communication. BUT, when they do call or text, just talk and try not to be too nosy.
- [Encourage your student to] use the Fitness Center and/or play intramurals! You don’t have to become a bodybuilder or be an athlete, but there are a LOT of people at the gym to meet or workout with and intramurals are a great way of just having FUN.
- Let them solve their own problems – If you have an issue with your neighbor do you call YOUR parents? Conflict resolution is one of the most important things our kids can learn.
- Finally – if your student isn’t an athlete or part of an academic or performance group (or if they are and still have free time) tell them to GET INVOLVED! There are SO many clubs and organizations on campus – it’s a great way of meeting people who have similar interests. Oh yeah – GO SEE Athletic events and other performances on campus – your fellow students REALLY need your support.
Laura Smith’s Advice:
- They’re ready. And even if they’re not totally there just yet, UMW is a kind, caring community that will provide the support needed to make the transition easier on them (and you…).
- Even if your child has siblings, even if there’s a sibling in the same room, the transition to having roommates can be hard . . . even if they know each other or have connected through social media. Be prepared for a few stressful phone calls home, but again, the Resident Assistant staff are excellent and encourage them to work it out with just their help.
- Let them adult. My daughter was so proud of herself with every hard conversation, everything she did by herself, every completed form, every financial decision, etc. Adulting is a scary thing, but as UMW’s athletics shirts say, “FLY.” Push them out of the nest, let them adult. They’re ready.
Thomas Hayes’s Advice:
- Don’t let them take a printer or a car; they don’t need the 2 a.m. knock on the door for help, nor do they need the distraction.
- Don’t tell them that you will “miss them;” tell them you are proud of them. Reduces the homesickness.
- Don’t tell them about all the great things they are missing at home; also helps reduce the homesickness.
- Send mail, subscriptions, and care packages. Fill their mailbox.
Nancy Masannat’s Advice:
Have open communication. Don’t hound them, a text now and again. Let them call you; they are settling in. If you have done your job as a parent, they will want to share with you.